Tag Archives: 4locos

Natural Born Squirrel Wrestler

12 Oct

I am currently raging on some Mountain Dew. I am the person that is not allowed to drink Surge or 4Loco’s. In fact, I would say I probably have personally contributed to 4 Loco’s being taken off the ‘market.’ FYI: They still sell them in GadRock at the Shell and the Parade- if you know where to look.

At bowling today we did not dominate. Finchy and her man candy decided to bring their A game and squashed us the first game. We came back and won the 2nd, but it forced Theo and I to 4th place. We’re bowling this “season” with BCBS members and both of their teams are in 1st and 2nd. Hmmmm. Seems rigged to me. One of the men we actually played last “season” for the title and he now pretends to only know my partner Theo. What a ridiculous woman-hater. He’s probably just intimidated from my pheromones and nurturing aspect. Probably.

I told Theo the story of my squirrel attack today because it seemed natural to share such a story while in a squirrel-like state-of-mind (Mountain Dew rage). He did not seem impressed and most likely was ready for me to leave his desk when I couldn’t stop giggling.

I’m obviously the office favorite.

For those who don’t know the story, I will summarize. It was Bid Day at UA, about 45 million degrees in an August summer. We were basically swimming in the air. The newly inducted ladies were running to their new houses, screaming in glee. I waited while dripping with sweat for Short and Sassy to show up. She came running up to the AOPi house where we hugged. That’s when I saw it and it saw me. The squirrel was in the middle of sorority row in a panic as the crowd of stampeding girls surrounded him. He chose the most viable option- up my dress. Thankfully my dress tied around my ribcage and he did not maul my face while I stood frozen as he frantically scrambled around my body. Short and Sassy’s face was probably the best thing I’ve ever seen. After said squirrel exited my space for a more friendly bush, I heard a little child yell, “Mommy mommy! That girl was just attacked by a squirrel!”

I couldn’t make this shit up.

This completely justifies while I’m still at my desk giggling. Right?