Tag Archives: memories

Once you go shag, you never go back.

30 Nov

I have recently discovered that I’m a hoarder.

I own lots of random nothings. I went home for Thanksgiving and my mom decides that I must fully remove any sign that I ever lived in my old room. I think now is the appropriate time to mention that I’m moving back into this room in a week, but apparently it would make too much sense just to leave my old shit there. I must only have newer shit- nothing sentimental allowed, including my fluffy purple shag bedspread. What the hell? Nobody outgrows a treasure like this: Thankfully I convinced my mom to put it in the pile for our church’s rummage sale and not the garbage pile. Small victories. Anyways. I found notes from 6th grade where I wrote in code with my friends (the code was extremely hard to decipher with lots of smilies and winkies) and signed my closest secrets as LYLAS. Yes, that’s LYLAS as in Love Ya Like a Sister. It’s important that the Y is for ‘ya’ and not ‘you.’ For obvious reasons.

The funny thing is that I’m not even still friends with half of my old sisters and I threw the notes out without sadness.

But then, in the middle of all the insipid smudged LYLASes, a sparkle caught my eye. IT WAS MY OLD PROM CROWN. Don’t chastise me. Every girl is allowed to act like a girl and prance around when they find things like this. I was in Prom Court and I cannot tell you how terrified I was when it happened. But here this crown was, just waiting to be worn. Naturally I wore it for the rest of Thanksgiving Break. My family was only slightly worried, which was not surprising to me, but was surprising to the FedEx man that walked up as I was vacuuming my car in it. Whatever. Now that I think about it, I wasn’t wearing make-up either so the big eyes and the gasp could have been for multiple reasons. Again, whatever.

Tonight I have to go to my apartment and continue packing there to move back home. Much wine will be needed. Feel free to bring donations beginning around 6.